This is an article that I posted back in March, but wanted to re-post for all my new families . . . enjoy!
In a world where children face many choices, parents want children to develop their thinking skills so that they learn to make good decisions. Teachers and parents can use everyday opportunities in general, and music-making in specific to teach decision-making and most important, to give children chances to practice self-evaluating. PlayPlay time is perfect for letting children practice decision-making. Children can choose for themselves which color of block goes on top of the tower, and then can also evaluate whether or not they have done a good job of making the tower (i.e. was it tall enough for their ideal?).In practicing the piano children can make a comment on whether or not they think they had a good practice session. Do they feel happy about their progress? As a teacher, I help children know about the decisions I make regarding their quality of playing. If they play adequately, I give them a small star. If they play moderately well, I give them a medium-sized star and I give them a big star, if they play the piece to the best of their ability. After children get accustomed to this, sometimes I ask the student before they play, "Are you going for a medium star today, or a big star?" Sometimes they say things that show their evaluative skills. They say, "I cannot get my big star today as I am playing the piece slowly and I haven't got dynamics yet". |
Offer choices Very young children can start making simple choices: which glass they will use for drinking their juice. Choices get more elaborate as the child gets older. Practicing the piano is a good time to let children decide which piece to play first. After they have played their finger warm-ups, they can decide whether to play a piece which they are polishing or whether to play a piece that is new to them. What brings the most progress? Playing something new first can sometimes be frustrating, on the other hand playing something new first when the attention span is good can sometimes be ideal. Ideally, the child will not always make the decision to play the same thing first each session. Set Limits Parents need to determine the limits within which choices get made. For instance, your child can choose to go to bed in red pjs or blue pjs, but you set the bedtime. In piano study, your child can choose to practice right hand first, or left hand first, or which piece to practice first, but you set the practice time. Helping Children Decide what goes into Making a Choice Parents can ask questions to stimulate children to think about the factors that go into making a choice. For example, if your child is deciding what to wear today, you could ask questions about the weather and the planned activities. Gathering Specific Information Sometime children need help reading the thermometer in order to know how hot or cold it is outside. Likewise, sometimes children need help looking at a calendar to know how many weeks away the recital is, so they understand the length of time they have to prepare. Using stories as an example will help children make choices. When you read a story to your child, ask your child, "What if the main character had done something different? How would it turn out?" This could also be an "imagine if" game to play, with your child regarding piano. "Imagine if" you didn't practice at all this week. What would happen at class? How would you feel? How would your music sound? Allow Consequences Giving responsibility also means allowing children to experience the consequences of their actions. Sometimes these consequences will be uncomfortable for children. However, if you rescue them, you send the message that it doesn't really matter what decision they make. You don't want, and your child's music teacher doesn't want your child to become discouraged with their music progress. However, if they decide to come to class one week without adequate preparation, they will see that their participation in class is not as rewarding. There may be some area of class that goes well (for which you can give encouragement), but if the piano tasks were not met, then your child will become aware of this. Resist Taking the Blame It is easy for parents to take all the responsibility and all the blame. If your child chooses to wear a striped shirt and polka dot pants, that is their choice - and if people laugh at how they look you can say, "My child dressed himself today." When your child has not had a good practice session, it is not always healthy or the best choice for you to say, "I was busy so my child couldn't practice". Your child could get out their music materials and do some practicing, even if you were busy and couldn't be always there to guide the practice session. Learning to Make good Decisions Takes Time Learning to make good decisions takes time. Mistakes along the way are part of the learning process. As Mark Twain observed: "Good judgment comes from experience. And where does experience come from? Experience comes from bad judgment." It takes patience to raise a thinking child. |
Frances Mae Balodis, MEd. ARCT LCCM(Hon) LCNCM(Hon) RMT MYC Founder and International Director |
