Sound Notes from Frances Balodis

New Year, New Opportunity

During the holiday season some children will have shared their music with family and friends. Other children had the opportunity to ski or swim while they (and their thoughts) were far away from the piano keys!

Back at the ivories, learning new things could be a challenge! Take it as an opportunity to learn new things in a new year. If you as parents dwell on the details of the challenges, you could be missing out on a chance to teach your children how to handle new things!

When you look to the future, you can turn mistakes and frustrations into opportunities for learning. In fact, in her book Wonderful Ways to Love a Child, author Judy Ford calls mistakes "the cornerstone on which we build our successes."

Anger keeps us stuck in the past

When children feel frustrated and discouraged, we tend to feel impatient, disappointed, frustrated and/or discouraged; often, this mix of emotions explodes into anger. Anger gives us a lot of energy (we raise our voice, we feel like hitting out), but it generally clouds our judgment.

It's hard to keep a calm focus when you can't think logically. In that state, it's much easier to yell about what just went wrong, rather than discuss what could be improved in the future. It's easier to scream about the practicing that needs to be done or the pencil work that isn't finished than to figure out how to get the practicing done in a positive way or how to get the pencil work completed. Also, it is easier for your child to become angry and even feel like striking the keys, than it is to figure out how to approach the new tasks.

Discipline is teaching

Real discipline is oriented to the future. It involves teaching children to behave appropriately, according to their growing abilities and according to our expectations and our values. We are trying to give our children tools for successful living.

Remembering that goals can help us keep our anger in check so that we can express our frustration and shift our focus to the future. Use those empowering words: "Next time, how could your practicing go better?" or "Next time, what would you like to do first? Your pencil work or your practicing?"

Finding a Solution

Persistent misbehavior often signals an underlying difficulty that has to be dealt with before the behavior will disappear. By carefully examining what is going wrong, we can find clues to a solution to the problem.

For instance, is your child tired when s/he begins their practice session time? Was there something special your child was "pulled from" in order to go practice? It would be helpful to discuss together when a good practice time would be. You as the parent know when your child is tired, so that is a time to avoid. You also know when you are tired, so it would be good to avoid that time too!

Skills for Life

Don't expect instant results. Skills take a long time to master, but will serve children all their lives. Knowing how to get going on a job that looks enormous will always be a valuable ability - whether it's applied to approaching new music skills or taking on a project at school or work.

Fresh Start

Here are some "Fresh Start" quotes to help you begin your new year:

"I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning," Joseph Priestly, 18th century British theologian and philosopher.

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down," Mary Pickford, Academy Award-winning Canadian actress.

"Every day is another chance to get things right," Lauryn Hill, Grammy Award-winning American singer.

Enjoy your new opportunities.
Frances Mae Balodis, MEd. ARCT LCCM(Hon) LCNCM(Hon) RMT
MYC Founder and International Director
frances@myc.com