Family routines! Wow - whoever wants to read about routines in this extraordinary month of December? Life with children can seem chaotic, at times even out of control. Establishing some basic routines can restore a sense of order that will make life easier for both parents and children. A routine doesn't mean a rigid schedule; young children need structure with flexibility (especially in a holiday time period). For most families, things work better when everyday activities follow a predicable pattern. Benefits for children
● Sense of security - When things happen in the same order every day, children learn to predict what comes next. They feel safe and secure because someone else is taking care of things for them; they don't have to worry. When I hear a parent say that their child doesn't practice music because they only want to practice when their child asks to practice, I realize that the parent is giving the routine responsibility to the child. This is misplaced, as the child is not old enough to make this routine. It is much better for the parents to choose a time that is agreeable to the child and parent - this could be after lunch, after supper, after a certain television program - some regular time that happens most days.
● Trust - Children learn to trust when the people who care for them follow a dependable routine. When your child knows that you will make time in your schedule each day for practicing, they know that they matter and so does practicing.
● Self-confidence - Children's confidence in themselves also increases when they are able to predict what will come next. Even when children are very young, they start to recognize the "pattern" and may even get out their tin sheet, saying, "We do tin sheet first, right daddy?"
● Good habits - Routines, such as regular practicing, regular writing of rhythm stories, regular listening to the MYC CDs, build good habits.
Benefits for parents
● Planning - Having a routine helps parents plan to accomplish necessary activities. Especially with a young child in the holiday season, finding time to practice can be a challenge, but soon it could become a routine.
● Trust - Children learn to trust when the people who care for them follow a dependable routine. When your child knows that you will make time in your schedule each day for practicing, they know that they matter and so does practicing.
● Self-confidence - Children's confidence in themselves also increases when they are able to predict what will come next. Even when children are very young, they start to recognize the "pattern" and may even get out their tin sheet, saying, "We do tin sheet first, right daddy?"
● Good habits - Routines, such as regular practicing, regular writing of rhythm stories, regular listening to the MYC CDs, build good habits.
Benefits for parents
● Planning - Having a routine helps parents plan to accomplish necessary activities. Especially with a young child in the holiday season, finding time to practice can be a challenge, but soon it could become a routine.
● Discipline - Children are less likely to test the rules (of not practicing!), when regular music making becomes part of the established routine. What makes a good routine?
We are all individuals; there is no recipe for a routine that works for every family. Here are some factors to consider, along with some examples of questions to ask yourself when planning a routine.
● Physical needs - Is your child fed and feeling "fresh" when practicing begins? Is there actually adequate time to complete the music making, without feeling harried? Does the routine you have chosen help everyone feel great?
● Social needs - Is the time that you picked for practicing interfering with your child playing with his friends? In our home, our practicing time for our son needed to be in the morning, as he viewed practicing after school as a conflict with play time.
● Intellectual needs - Does your child get time to make music in a way that stimulates their understanding of the music?
● Emotional needs - Does your child feel happy about practicing and pleased with the accomplishments? Are the accomplishments recognized?
● Stage of development - Does the routine for practice time take into account how needs change as your child progresses from Sunshine I to Sunshine II, or Sunbeams I to Sunbeams II? As your child progresses toward Moonbeams III practicing is not the same as it was in Sunbeams II.
We are all individuals; there is no recipe for a routine that works for every family. Here are some factors to consider, along with some examples of questions to ask yourself when planning a routine.
● Physical needs - Is your child fed and feeling "fresh" when practicing begins? Is there actually adequate time to complete the music making, without feeling harried? Does the routine you have chosen help everyone feel great?
● Social needs - Is the time that you picked for practicing interfering with your child playing with his friends? In our home, our practicing time for our son needed to be in the morning, as he viewed practicing after school as a conflict with play time.
● Intellectual needs - Does your child get time to make music in a way that stimulates their understanding of the music?
● Emotional needs - Does your child feel happy about practicing and pleased with the accomplishments? Are the accomplishments recognized?
● Stage of development - Does the routine for practice time take into account how needs change as your child progresses from Sunshine I to Sunshine II, or Sunbeams I to Sunbeams II? As your child progresses toward Moonbeams III practicing is not the same as it was in Sunbeams II.
● Individual differences - Does the routine allow for a child's particular temperament? Some children need very strict guidelines, others need more flexibility. Changing the Routine Sometimes changing the routine is necessary, particularly in the next few busy weeks!
● Change the sequence - Sometimes practice tin sheet first, sometimes practice the piano first, while other times listen to the CD first.
● Recognize a need - If your child begins to cry when you mention practicing, maybe the child actually is hungry. Make sure they have a happy tummy. If your child squirms quite a lot while practicing, maybe your practicing could have some time at the piano, some time at the kitchen table writing rhythm stories and some time with the MP3 player dancing to the music!
● Change the sequence - Sometimes practice tin sheet first, sometimes practice the piano first, while other times listen to the CD first.
● Recognize a need - If your child begins to cry when you mention practicing, maybe the child actually is hungry. Make sure they have a happy tummy. If your child squirms quite a lot while practicing, maybe your practicing could have some time at the piano, some time at the kitchen table writing rhythm stories and some time with the MP3 player dancing to the music!
● Smooth transitions - Having a little motto such as "no surprises" is important when it comes to practicing. Keep the time length the same - don't suddenly say "We didn't practice well yesterday so we are going to practice double the time today." This will frustrate your child and cause them not to trust the process. Routines are never set in stone; they will always need to be adapted as conditions change. By observing your children, by knowing your own needs as parent, you will be able to make a predictable routine that will enhance the holiday and have everyone wanting to share their music, so they can get their "I am a Star" page signed by family and friends. Wow! Imagine what that does for self-esteem!
Frances Mae Balodis, MEd. ARCT LCCM(Hon) LCNCM(Hon) RMT
MYC Founder and International Director
frances@myc.com
MYC Founder and International Director
frances@myc.com
